over the years i’ve discovered that if you pay attention every life lesson you’ll ever need is right there in the lyrics of blues or soul songs. sure, you could just play nazareth’s love hurts or the buzzcocks’ ever fallen in love when you’re down, but neither nazareth or the buzzcocks tell you what you’re supposed to do about it when you feel like roadkill. admittedly most old blues songs suggest getting a shotgun to resolve the problem which is why maybe soul is a better and evolved choice.
if they weren't yours, don't waste your time missing them.
this ike and tina turner song is hard to find. luckily the detroit cobras covered it on “love, life and leaving” so you can still listen to it any time you need to be reminded that . . .
you can’t miss nothing
you can’t miss nothing
that you never had
see, clearly soul singers believe in empowerment and recognize there’s no point in pining away being unhappy. at some point you have to stop your sobbing and get on with life. as the mighty sharon jones points out, it’s better to be alone than a doormat:
if what you need is a good little soldier
well i guess you better look again
well you know i ain’t nobody’s soldier
i’m a bona fide capitan
cuz i ain’t nobody’s baby
i ain’t nobody’s fool
thank you, sharon. sometimes i need to be reminded that i make a really shitty doormat.
i’ve known people in my life who, for some reason, choose to be unhappy. if only they would listen to more soul music. i never understood this and it’s not my bag. depending on how you look at it, life is either short, or very very long. i could get hit by a bus tomorrow. or, i could live to be 100. either way i’m not wasting my time being miserable. however, part of life’s majesty is the ability of everyone to choose and if they choose unhappiness that’s really up to them. perhaps they just love to fail. if the magnetic fields were a soul band i’d totally play you love to fail at this point.
you know sometimes we find ourselves chasing after someone who does not want us. and sometimes that’s not real clear but here’s the thing, ladies and gentlemen. if they want you, they want you and they choose you. it’s really very very simple. you’ll know it when you want to sing wilson pickett songs, or they sing you [if they can't sing they can always put it on a mixed tape] that otis redding song, that’s how strong my love is, or ray charles’ tell the world about you, or hallelujah i love her so! . anything less than that is half-assed bullshit and don’t accept it (unless you are one of these people who are willing to settle. if you are, i feel really sorry for you. you probably listen to lousy music, too.)
if it’s not like this, forget about it.
all is not lost if you should find yourself in love with someone who doesn’t want you. you simply need to be reminded of the basic lessons recited above, by sharon jones and ms tina turner. and you should play this marvelettes song over and over, focusing on the line i don’t want nobody that don’t want me. the marvelettes could have made a mint as therapists, because really this is the best advice i’ve heard in years. i remember when i put this record on it was like a lightning bolt (a real one, not the band) hit me. what you want with someone who don’t want you? forget about them! just around the corner is someone better!
soon enough you’ll be putting on marvin gaye’s let’s get it on. trust me.
