so facebook is about to institute its “time line” feature, where everything you ever posted on facebook – every status update about your upset stomach, every photo of a sandwich you ate, every relationship update, every veiled secret insider comment and drunk photo – are forever and easily accessible. oh joy. i already hated that feature where you got to read what you posted a year ago. it emphasized the passage of time and inevitable shuffling off this mortal coil. now they want to dredge up everything we ever said and did and throw it back in our faces? this is like being in a deposition for the rest of your life, at every moment, sworn to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth and then instantaneously impeached when it conflicts with something you said three years ago and forgot about.
life is not as it was and we’re losing the things which actually made it tolerable.
I miss the days when old letters and a few booth pictures were the only reminder of broken hearts. Now the fucking internet is just this gigantic treasure chest full of shit you’re trying to forget. ~ a good dear friend of mine
Do you remember the days when not everything was permanently documented on the internet? When you could change your hair color (or name. or boyfriend. or address.) with impunity and no one ever challenged you by saying what’s your natural hair color, anyway? I used to keep a diary, regularly. I also used to burn those diaries, semi regularly. One of the most embarrassing things about old diaries is the roll call of people we used to think we were in love with. I remember cracking open one and hearing myself go on and on about some guy and I swear to god I couldn’t even remember who it was for a page and a half. When I finally figured it out, I was somewhat mortified, because after the passage of time let’s just say those feelings had dissipated. And I’m tired of feeling bad (and tired of seeing many of my friends feeling bad) when things don’t work out the way we thought they would and we beat ourselves up because we feel like such fucking liars and losers and like surely there must be something wrong with us. And it all sort of makes you ponder (to no conclusion) the nature of our feelings and relationships. Is there such a thing as true love, which remains strong and steadfast, growing as we grow, changing as we change? Did we just not choose (or find) the Right One? Were we mistaken or deluded? Stupid or betrayed? Is our past, littered with faded love and broken relationships, an indication that nothing ever lasts forever? Or is it just us; are we fucked up, bad choosers, too demanding, too flighty, lacking in stick-to-it-ness, doomed to fail fail fail? Discuss.
The reality of life is that things are not necessarily permanent and fixed. Life is mutable. Time gives us perspective and the ability to see things more clearly (sometimes). We change and grow and sometimes go in different directions from one another. Feelings can shift and change and even disappear. That’s reality even when we really really hope things would always stay the same because that’s more comfortable and easy and there’s nothing to explain away. That said, I’m a dyed in the wool romantic and who really honestly and truly believes that somewhere out there is someone who is meant Just For You. And how do you know if it is? Because it will be. But then again, I’m kinda stupid like that.
So, no, facebook. I don’t want to be reminded about last year. Or last month. I don’t want to remember being pissed off about something I’m not pissed off about anymore. I don’t want to be reminded about befriending someone who turned out to be frankly kinda a nut job. I don’t want to dwell on the past, with all its missteps and mistakes, or even its high points and joys. I don’t want to review my internet life like some treasure chest of things I thought (hoped?) were ephemeral, trapped forever in the amber of the internet. I’d prefer to live in the present and look forward to the future.
Hasta la vista, facebook posts.
